If you have five seconds to spare, then I’ll tell you the story of my life.
Sixteen, clumsy and shy; That’s the story of my life.
|From the sublime to the ridiculous?
The idea of being on the web and utilising it as an outlet for my creativity and opinions was probably the original reason for this website. However, on close self-reflection, the website also allows me to balance my public introvert demeanour and provides the megaphone for my voice in a crowded virtual social gathering; well that was the original reason.
This website is now on its third iteration. I don’t think the first two iterations were noticed beyond a few friends and family; only recently my younger brother sent me a text asking for the domain name to show a friend in a pub, I was despondent that it wasn’t in his favourites, but the closest to me will say that I have a pompous overinflated opinion of myself (that would be my id not my ego or neither my super ego for that matter).
The reason that the first two incarnations failed was not due to my over bearing id, simply the content was facile at best. I was not adding anything to the mix; my inner Dacre or Murdoch had not been unleashed, I wasn’t channelling ‘opinion’ with the acrid hateful ferocity of Hopkins. Inherently that last sentence would suggest I have something to say. I am not going for the adage ‘everyone has something to say’. The adage is true but what most have to say is just the pre-programmed result of several million years’ worth of evolution; essentially electrons taking the path of least resistance. Within the span of a paragraph I have dug a big hole.
Let us rewind for a second. I do not have a desire to be a modern media pimp or whore. A desire to make my fortune through selling a fandom of followers to the highest bidder. I do have a desire to correct some perceived opinions, mainly perpetrated by the media and politicians, usually pertaining to science, but not restricted to. I simply crave to be heard by a wider group of humans than my small social circle. My opinions are not better than the next person’s but when they are based in ‘a question of sport’ synonymous ‘home’ topic, they come with over 20 years of experience in Medicine and the Pharmaceutical Industry as seen through the eyes of an immigrant in an adopted home.
With that stated and clarified the only issue raised in my ramble that is yet to be addressed to conclusion is; why my previous versions of this website failed. Essentially, I do not have anonymity. My ‘Whois’ entry gives away my contact details and I didn’t chose a website name that allowed me to vex in cloaked secrecy. I don’t believe in hiding behind pseudonyms and falling foul of the disinhibiting nature of the internet. The introvert nature I refereed to before is a strong personality trait, reinforced by my adoption of Buddhist philosophy for personal interactions, these do not lend themselves well to becoming a self-publicist. I still have those traits but I have lost the fear of those nasty bogey men of the internet that may ridicule my vexations.
When Donal Trump was elected, I wanted to understand his followers better and created an anonymous right-wing twitter account to allow me access to their orbits. My public morality didn’t allow me to deceive individuals outright, hence I called myself Alan Winston, put my birth date down as April 1984 and had a picture of Senate House in London as my home page banner. The twitter handle for the account even echoed true speak and referred to the ministry of truth.
Within 24 hours I had amassed over 150 followers. This was the first surprise, trust this side of the fence was ubiquitous compared to my normal liberal twitter circles. The second surprise (if it could be called that) was that I had not entered a seething ignorant, racist, bigoted populous – yes there were some but the bell curve of distribution was present. This experience gave me confidence, confidence to allow some of the extrovert opinions out, hence this new website purely based on my opinion and on occasion with prejudice.
However all the above has become irrelevant after the birth of my first child; Clara. Suddenly there was another person that I wanted to hear my voice, understand my ‘delusions’, tolerate my ignorance and hopefully take some of my miniscual wisdom, simply I want her to know the thoughts that preoccupied her father. Hence ‘dear reader’ I hope you enjoy but you are a casual observer on a private bubble.